Choose Your Course Wisely
by NinaGold
Summary: Killian Jones has one purpose in his life:to find and destroy Rumplestiltskin. But things change when a beautiful woman saves his life. Is he willing to alter his life and choose a different course? AU


Killian Jones woke up on the shore of the river and tried to open his eyes, but the bright sunlight was too painful. His head was pounding, and his chest ached. After a few seconds, the events of the night before came flooding back to him. He remembered leaving the tavern and walking back to his ship, and being attacked by three men. They had knocked him over the head, beat him, and robbed him before finally throwing him into the water. He remembered feeling a pair of hands grabbing him under his arms, pulling him to the shore, and pushing on his chest, forcing the water out of his lungs and letting air back in. His eyes still shut, he tried to sit up, but someone put a hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down. "You shouldn't try to move yet. Rest a little while longer," a woman's voice said. The voice was deep, soft and kind, and the hand was gentle, but strong. He lay back down, and the hand began to stroke his forehead. Killian could scarcely remember the last time anyone had touched him with such tenderness, or spoke to him with such kindness. He finally forced his eyes to open, wanting to see the person the hands and voice belonged to. She was a small woman, with long, reddish brown hair that shone with copper and gold highlights in the sun. Her eyes were large and brown. She smiled at him as he looked at her. She had a lovely, sweet gentle face, and he smiled back at her too. "Well, Miss, it seems I owe you my life,"

He said. He took her hand and pressed it to his lips. "I thank you, from the bottom of my heart. My name is Killian Jones, ma'am. And you are…?" "My name is Kristina," she said, "But I'm called Tina for short."

"Well, Miss Tina," Killian replied, "It is a great pleasure to meet you, even under these circumstances." Tina's smile grew wider. "You're feeling better now, I presume," she said, and laughed. And indeed, the pounding in his head was beginning to subside. He still felt sore and achy, and when he tried to stand up he suddenly felt drained, exhausted. Tina's smile quickly turned into a look of worry. "Why don't you let me help you," she slipped her arm around his waist as he reeled suddenly, and almost fell. Killian groaned as he tried to walk, his legs wobbly and stiff at the same time. "Yes," he replied, putting his arm around her shoulder, "Yes, that would probably be best. If you could help me back to my ship, I would appreciate it."

"Why don't you come back to my house until you feel ready to travel," Tina asked, "I live right close by, and you need a hot meal and a proper rest in a bed before you're ready to leave."

"I couldn't impose," he protested, "You've done more than enough already."

"Please, it's no trouble. I fished you out the water, so I'm kind of responsible to see to it that you fully recover before you set out again." She smiled up at him again. Killian decided it would be nice to spend a few more hours with this kind, beautiful lady.

"Very well, then. Lead the way, Miss Tina."

Kristina lived a few houses down the road. She helped him into the house, and made him lie down on the bed while she prepared him some food. Killian sank down onto the bed gratefully, and barely noticed her taking his boots off of him and covering him with a warm quilt, before he drifted into a deep sleep. He awoke a couple hours later, and sat up, stretching and yawning. Hearing him waking up, Kristina looked up from the fireplace, where she was stirring a pot of soup. As he sat down at the table, he suddenly realized he was famished. Tina set a bowl of soup in front of him, along with a loaf of bread. It was delicious, and she smiled at him when he told her so. She leaned her head in her hand and said, "So, Killian Jones, where are from, and where are you heading when you leave here?" Dipping a bit of bread into his soup, he cleared his throat and said, "Originally, I'm from London. I've been sailing on one ship or another, from one port to another, since I was about 15. I'm the Captain of the Jolly Roger, and as for where I'm going, I plan to kill the creature who gave me this," he held up his arm, which had a silver hook at the end of it where there should have been a hand. " He killed the woman I loved, and cut off my hand for good measure."

Tina's eyes widened. "Who did that to you?"

"It was the Dark One. Rumplestiltskin."

"Rumplestiltskin!" Kristina gasped, recoiling at the name. "He's the one who makes deals and takes people's firstborn babies in return for favors isn't he?"

"That's correct. His wife fell in love with me, so she left him. He ripped out her heart and crushed it, right in front of me and my crew, and took my hand." Kristina reached across the table, and put a hand on his arm. She looked at him, her eyes showing sadness, and compassion as well. "I'm so sorry," she said, her voice hardly more than a whisper. "I do know how you must feel." Killian looked at her, a little confused. She went on, "My parents, my husband, and my baby boy were all murdered, right in front of me, because the prince of this land wanted to take me to his castle and make me one his whores. I told him I'd rather die, and he decided to do much worse than that. Then my brother killed the prince, and he was hanged as well." The pain of the memory clouded her beautiful eyes. Killian suddenly felt sad for this lady who had saved his life and showed him such kindness, even though he was a complete stranger. He took her hand in his, stroking the back of it with his thumb. "I'm sorry for what you've been through, too," He whispered, unable to think of anything else to say. At least he still had his crew, who were like family to him. This sweet lady had lost everyone she loved and now she was completely alone in the world. Tina looked straight into his eyes for a moment then looked away, pulling her hand back too. She stood up, picked up his empty bowl and plate and turned away, trying to hide the blush that was coloring her cheeks. She cleared her throat and said, "Well, I suppose you'll want to get back to your ship. Your crew will be worried." Killian stood up too, reluctantly. He found his boots and his jacket and put them on. As he moved toward the door, Tina turned back toward him again. "Good luck to you, Killian Jones," she smiled and extended her hand. He took it and bowed low, kissing it. "I thank you again, Miss Kristina, for all you have done for me."

As he left and made his way toward the docks, he couldn't stop thinking of Tina's lovely brown eyes, the way her hand had felt in his when he'd held it. He had had many, many women over the years, though most of them were a nameless, faceless blur of arms, legs, and breasts, not distinguishable from one another. There were plenty of women at any port who were more than willing to bed down with a pirate for a few hours, or a night, and Killian could take his pick of any woman, in any port anywhere. The whole routine had become almost boring over the years, in fact. Then he had met his dear Milah, and for a while, he'd known what love and happiness were. Then, in an instant, Rumplestiltskin had destroyed that, and Killian had thought that his heart and soul had died with her, had been crushed like Milah's heart in the Dark One's hand, never to be revived again. That is, until this morning. Kristina had caused something in him to begin to stir, as if his heart, long dead and cold, had suddenly started to beat once more. The thought was preposterous, though! What he was feeling was gratitude for her saving his life, nothing more than that, surely. But no, the warm tingling sensation that had gone up his arm and coursed through his body when she had touched him, the feeling of her hand, so warm and soft in his, the way his heart had skipped a few beats and then started racing when she had looked in his eyes, those things were more than mere gratitude. For years, he had felt nothing, had simply existed, living only for the day he would finally destroy Rumplestiltskin completely. He didn't give a damn if he lived one more day after that. In fact, death would be welcome, to finally be with Milah again in heaven. But the feelings that Kristina had awakened in him sent him into confusion, and his life's course, once so clear to him, was beginning to be uncertain. To even consider the possibility of actually pursuing a future with this woman, that would be out of the question…wouldn't it? True love only comes once in a lifetime, and never again, Killian told himself. Best not to even hope…

He stepped onto his ship, and his First Mate, Gregory, shouted to him, "Captain! We almost sent out a search party for you! Haven't heard from you since we left you at the bar." "Well, I'm here now, and we have hours of lost time to make up for. Let's get underway, quickly," Killian said, and left it at that. He was in no mood to go over the events of the night before, nor was he about to tell any of the crew about Kristina. As he stood at the wheel of the ship, however, watching the small port town fade onto the horizon, a sense of longing and sadness came over him. He found himself hoping, even though he knew it was foolish, that he would soon return and see Kristina again.

Kristina sat beside the fire in her rocking chair. Her thoughts kept turning again and again to the handsome sea captain, this Killian Jones. Since her entire family had been taken from her, she had grown accustomed to being on her own, and she was so used to the loneliness that she hardly ever noticed it anymore. But since Killian had left to return to his ship, she felt more alone than she had in years. It was ridiculous missing someone she had only known a few hours. But she had felt needed in those hours. That she had someone to care for again. It was a feeling she missed. She was the kind of woman who was happiest when she caring for others, doing for people gave her a sense of purpose. And she had to admit having a man in her house again had been something else she missed. She wondered what it would be like to stand on the deck of the Jolly Roger beside Killian, sailing off together, seeing the world, sharing adventures together, and sharing other things, too. She lay down on her bed staring at the ceiling for hours before she finally fell asleep, but even her dreams were filled with him too.

Weeks passed, but Killian was having no luck forgetting about Kristina. In fact, his longing for her had grown stronger, if anything. What could possibly have come over him, he wondered? Since he had lost Milah, scarcely an hour had gone by that he hadn't thought of her. Now this other woman had captivated his mind and he was torn apart inside by confusion, and guilt as well. The idea of wanting another woman, that was dishonoring the memory of his Milah, wasn't it? He felt that he was being unfaithful to her in some way, even though she was dead. But every night as he lay on his cot in the Captain's Quarters, more and more, it was Kristina's face, not Milah's, he saw in his mind, and Kristina he imagined next to him as he curled himself around the other pillow. This was more than just some minor infatuation, he realized. No other woman had made him forget Milah even for an instant. That alone had to mean something.

Gregory looked up at the black clouds spreading across the sky toward them. A storm was coming straight at them, and a bad one at that. "Captain Jones, you better come look at this!" he cried out. Killian soon joined him at the ship's wheel, and took out his telescope, hoping to find a safe harbor in sight. Thankfully, he saw one on the horizon. "We'll pull in there and ride this out," he said. "Hopefully, it's not going to last long." After about an hour they sailed up to a small cove and dropped anchor, taking the lifeboat to the shore. With Killian leading the way, the crew walked into the woods looking for a place to set up camp. The trees in the forest were so thick that they kept most of the rain off of the weary band of pirates, and they found a clearing where the tangled underbrush wasn't as dense. "This is as good a place as any," Killian said, and they stretched a large piece of canvas over some stakes to form a makeshift tent. The rest of the crew stretched out on the ground, grateful to be off the ship for a while. Killian decided to explore the surroundings, just out of curiosity.

The thick forest was quiet, only the sound of the wind and rain on the trees high above. The sounds were peaceful, and the scents of the wet trees and damp earth smelled good after the briny, salty smell of the sea. Killian saw a fallen tree nearby, so he sat down and closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, savoring the smells and sounds, enjoying the peace and quiet. Suddenly, he heard a voice behind him. "Killian Jones!" it called out in a hoarse whisper. He jumped up. "Who are you, and how do you know who I am?" he demanded. He looked around him, but he saw only a shadowy figure about ten feet away.

"My name is of no importance, but I am one who knows the minds of men, and I am one who knows what is yet to be. I know your mind is troubled, and you have come to a crossroads, Killian Jones. You must choose what course to follow: pursue revenge, bloodshed and death, in the name of one you once loved. Or choose love and happiness with one you can love now. The choice is yours, but remember this: The dead can no longer love. Revenge cannot bring the dead back to life." Killian stared at the figure. He wanted to run, but his legs would not move. How did this- whatever or whoever was talking to him-know all of this about him? "But how can I even think of loving again," he blurted out, hardly realizing he was saying it, "Milah was my one true love. To even think of loving someone else, it would be disloyal to her, it would mean our love meant nothing! And besides, how can I let Rumplestiltskin go unpunished for killing her? I cannot just let him get away with that!" The shadowy figure came a little closer, and the voice grew more insistent. "Rumplestiltskin will face the consequences of all the choices he has made, as will all people. Destiny will see to that. No one escapes destiny, but everyone decides what path their destiny leads them on. I assure you no one 'gets away' with anything, good or bad."

"Still," Killian replied, tears beginning to form in his eyes, "How can I just forget about her?"

"You must decide for yourself how best you can best honor her memory. Find Rumplestiltskin, kill him and have your revenge, and let the man Milah loved become a monster, like him. Or, let your love for her live on through your love for Kristina, and heal yourself, and Kristina as well. Your path is yours to choose. Choose your course well, and wisely." The figure disappeared, leaving Killian alone.

Killian sat up quickly. Had the whole thing been nothing more than a dream? He had no faith in fortunetellers, seers or anything of that nature. But no one, not even his crew, knew about Kristina, or the confusion he had felt. He stood up and headed back to the campsite, where the crew was sitting around a large fire. "Captain, we were afraid you had gotten lost," Gregory called out, filling a mug from the barrel of ale they had brought with them and handing it to Killian.

"I did for a bit, but I found my way," Killian took the mug and drank long and deep from it. As the rest of the crew spent the rest of the evening joking, singing and telling stories, he sat lost in his own thoughts.

By the next afternoon, the storm was over, and the sea had calmed down enough so they could set out again. As they boarded the ship once more, Killian told Gregory, "We're setting out for Jamesport again. I've decided to take a different course." "Jamesport! Are you sure about that, Captain? What about Rumplestiltskin?"

"As I've said," Killian replied sharply, "I have decided a different course. Maybe my destiny lies elsewhere. I want to find out."

"Yes, Captain."

As the ship approached Jamesport, Killian felt like a nervous schoolboy. What if she didn't remember him? What if she laughed at him when he told her how he felt? What if he was wrong about this whole thing? As he departed the ship and headed for Kristina's house, he felt like his heart was going to pound right out of his body, and he actually had butterflies in his stomach. That was something he had not felt since he _was_ a schoolboy. He knocked on her door, not even knowing what he was going to say.

Kristina opened the door, and when she saw who it was, her eyes flew open wide. "Killian," She gasped, "What on earth are _you_ doing back here?" He smiled nervously, thrusting the flowers he had brought with him toward her. "I had to see you again," he began hurriedly, blurting out the first thing that came to his mind. He was not used to feeling self-conscious, and he almost never felt out of control, but looking into her brown eyes, stripped every bit of bravado and cockiness away from his mind. He was not the dashing, exceedingly confident sea captain, nor was he the ruthless, heartless Captain Hook. In her presence, he was once again merely Killian Jones; standing in front of a woman he loved, offering her his heart.

"You had to see _me_? Why?" Kristina asked, her voice quivering. He was relieved to see that he wasn't the only one who was nervous. He swallowed, took a deep breath, and continued. "Ever since I met you that day, I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I think that it was fate that _you _were the one who saved me that night. I knew, almost from that moment, that we were meant to find each other, Tina," Killian swallowed, almost overcome with his feelings. Tears began to form in his eyes, and he continued. "When Milah died, I felt that the best part of me died too. It's like I have been numb ever since then. Since I met you, I'm starting to know what it's like to _feel_ again, and I never imagined I would. I came here to tell you, that I am falling in love with you, and I couldn't go another day without telling you. I came to ask you to come with me. If you come with me, I promise you, I will love you for the rest of your life. You will never be lonely again, as long as I live." Tina's eyes began swimming with tears, and a smile spread across her face, until she was beaming with joy. To Killian, the sight was as radiantly beautiful as a sunrise. "My dear, dear Killian," she said, her voice husky with emotion, "I've been dreaming of this moment since you left that day. I love you too, with all my heart."

Hearing her say those words, Killian felt as if he were about to float away, such was his sheer ecstasy. He kissed her, and her mouth met his hungrily, her arms wound around his neck, holding him in that embrace, their hearts beating together. He could hardly wait to get her back to his ship, where they could sail off together, both of them going off to find what lay in store on this new course, together.


End file.
